We all know there are no fixed rules to how relationships work. There is however common things long standing couples can agree on.
Yes, you have heard this before because that is the key. Nobody can read minds (except Lily and Marshal apparently). If you aren’t telling your other half what is bothering you or what you want, chances are you’re not getting it. It’s also a two way street, you should listen as much as you speak. Telling your problems to your friends won’t help. Also bad mouthing your partner to your friends / family when you are arguing is a big no no. You are the one person that should have the other’s back. Keep a diary if you need to vent.
This is probably the most important one. You cannot be happy in a relationship if you are forever doubting what the other person is up to and with who. For some this is harder since they have been betrayed before, but don’t compare old relationships to new ones. Also, refer to the first point in this post. If you are feeling unsure, chat to your partner about how you feel. Everybody needs some alone time. Don’t keep your partner prisoner at home. Have hobbies outside the relationship. It will also give you something to talk about.
Be sure to make your partner feel appreciated. A compliment is always nice to receive, why not spread that happiness around? Making somebody feel special and wanted is a given in a relationship. Every now and then surprise your partner with a gift or a cooked meal made with some extra effort. Or, if you are in a consenting adult relationship, sex.
This is a biggie. Don’t try change the person you are with. Imprinting your dreams and goals for them will make them unhappy. We grow and change naturally as the relationship grows and we reach different stages of our life. There will always be a change, just do not force it.
I am no expert on relationships. I would just like to share some things I think helps and that has worked for me. Feel free to leave a comment if I left anything out.
Mona- 7 years strong